A Personal Favor
by iamdragonrider
Summary: Sam asks the guys for a favor. We’ve all been or will be in a similar situation of need. The men will cringe and sympathize, and the women will howl with laughter. Chapter 3 up. (COMPLETE)
1. The Favor

_Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, I just like to play with them. MGM owns Stargate and all its characters etc etc. I wrote this story for fun, and no money is involved at all.  
  
A/N: Not much of a point, just a little silly something I put together on the weekend as a little break from Nine Lives. It was supposed to be short, but I tend to get carried away. Anyway, I'll get back to Nine Lives, now that my writer's block is cured. Not that I don't know where I'm going on the other story, just sometimes my mind refuses to let me write what I want it to. Besides I got this idea in my head and it wanted out. Anyway, forgive me if it's a little rough in spots, I still don't have a beta, (unless you count my cat) so its just me and I tend to miss stuff.  
  
Summary: Sam asks the guys for a favor. We've all been or will be in similar situation of need. The men will cringe and sympathize, and the women will howl with laughter.  
  
Set season four or five or six or thereabouts. The timeline isn't really important in this story, and there are no spoilers that I know of._

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_Chapter 1  
  
Colonel Jack O'Neill parked his large black 4x4 at the curb outside of Major Samantha Carter's house, and looked around at his teammates. Daniel was seated in the front middle seat, holding the small paper bag of various medications and dressings. Teal'c was crammed into the back on the jump seat because Major Carter, by virtue of the bulky cast covering her right leg from foot and ankle to mid thigh wouldn't fit back there.  
  
"Alright kids, lets get Carter settled." Jack said, than as he noticed Sam starting to unbuckle her seatbelt and open the door, he barked out "Ah ah Carter! You stay put."  
  
"Sir, I'm fine, really..." Sam started, but the Colonel interrupted again, "Carter, that wasn't a request." Sam scowled and looked down at her lap, glaring at her cast. She didn't reply, but she wasn't trying to get out of the truck anymore. Jack got out of the truck, allowing Daniel to slide out before tilting the seat to allow the large Jaffa to unfold himself from the back seat. As Teal'c climbed out Jack reached into the back of the truck grabbing Sam's crutches and carrying case containing her laptop and some papers she'd wanted from her lab. Daniel headed up to sidewalk to Sam's front door to unlock it.  
  
"Teal'c, help Carter into the house would you buddy?" Jack asked. Teal'c nodded solemnly. "Indeed O'Neill, I would be most pleased to assist Major Carter." He replied as he started around to Carter's side of the truck.  
  
Sam started to protest as she saw he CO heading into the house with her crutches. She could walk perfectly fine. Well perfectly fine with crutches. Sam sighed as Teal'c opened the passenger side door. She forced her scowl away. Teal'c wasn't to blame for the Colonel's over protectiveness, and it wasn't fair to take her frustration out on him. Giving into the inevitable, Sam surrendered herself to the strong arms of Teal'c as he gently and carefully lifted her out of the truck, and carried her towards the house.  
  
Sam hated to admit it but she really was exhausted, not to mention sore in too many places to list. She let her head drop on Teal'c's shoulder as she recounted the circumstances that led to the reason she was getting carted around by a group of very over protective men.  
  
It had been a routine mission on P3X-925; the MALP had shown the possible presence of an abandoned naquadah mine. Daniel was poking through the ruins of a small village, likely the homes of the miners before the mine had been abandoned. Teal'c and the Colonel had been patrolling the perimeter, and looking for anything interesting. Sam as usual was collecting soil samples. She was walking back to where Daniel was when she found an abandoned mineshaft by dint of falling into it.  
  
Fortunately for Sam, the mineshaft hadn't been very deep. Unfortunately, it traveled nearly 20 feet down at a slant and was littered with boulders and jagged rocks. Sam thought she must have hit every rock and outcropping on the way down before landing in an inglorious heap at the bottom of the shaft. She'd never lost consciousness, but her leg had been broken in the fall, and she had numerous bruises and several bad cuts including a deep gash on her right upper arm.  
  
It had taken the men nearly two hours to carry her out of the hole on a makeshift stretcher they'd rigged with pack frames and tent canvas. It was several more hours for them to carry her back. She'd given in and allowed them to give her Morphine for the return trip so she didn't really remember much of that part.  
  
Sam had awoken several hours later, not too surprised to find her teammates in various poses, keeping vigil over her while she slept. Daniel was seated in a chair on her left, nose buried in some text. Teal'c sat cross- legged on the floor near the wall on her right, with the Colonel just past Teal'c, seated on the bed, playing with his yo-yo. They'd quickly retrieved Dr. Warner upon seeing her awake. Janet was out of town with Cassie, visiting relatives.  
  
Doctor Warner had agreed to release Sam, provided she proved that she could eat and tolerate the pain pills, and as long as someone accompanied her to her house to settle her in. He didn't think that someone needed to stay with her at all times, but had cautioned her to stay off her feet as much as possible for the next few days and that someone should check on her frequently. She'd been really lucky, other than the broken leg, the rest of her injuries were mostly a collection of bruises and scrapes. The rest of SG-1 had quickly volunteered for the task of taking Sam home and she had quickly found herself eating some toast and dutifully swallowing some tablets. By late morning she had been whisked off to the Colonel's truck in a wheelchair before she could even protest. Not that she minded getting out of the infirmary as soon as possible.  
  
Sam's mind wandered back to the present as Teal'c entered her living room, and gently settled her on the couch, mindful of the cast and the worst of her injuries. The cuts on her arm and head had needed quite a few stitches in each, and were just a bit sore. Daniel and Jack descended on as Teal'c set her down, her propping her leg with pillows and covering her in a blanket. She'd been handed the remote and told her to amuse herself, while the three men went into her kitchen to fix lunch.  
  
Sam smiled in amusement as she heard them arguing over what to make and discussing the state of her refrigerator. Sam hadn't bothered to stock up on anything since she'd known they were going off world. She also may have forgotten to clear some things out, having been busy with several projects recently. She suspected that there were several things in there that might be trying to become new life forms. So she wasn't too surprised when the three trooped back to her living room announcing that some grocery shopping was in order. Sam did scowl at them when Daniel declared her fridge a biohazard and Jack joked that he'd nearly called in a Code 3 team. Her fridge wasn't that bad.  
  
The men started planning a shopping list, Daniel taking notes, as Sam became aware of a mild cramping sensation, low in her abdomen. She frowned, and quickly did some mental calculations. Going off world so often she tended to lose track of time. Coming up with the right numbers Sam realized it was now that time of the month. She sighed softly, these things never seemed to come at a good time and having to deal with that and her injuries, including the awkward cast made her think she must have angered some god out there. Oh well, on the bright side, when else could you take such strong medicine for menstrual cramps Sam thought glancing at the bag containing her medicine that Daniel had left on her coffee table.  
  
Sam frowned as she remembered something. She was supposed to have picked up some pads, as she was nearly out. But just as she'd been planning on going out on some much needed errands, she'd been paged back to the SGC to fix some error with the dialing computer, and one thing had led to another and she'd never gotten to pick up the things she'd needed, intending to do so once this latest mission was over.  
  
Daniel noticed her frown, and immediately concerned, he asked if she was ok, which caught Teal'c and Jack's attention immediately. The stopped talking to regard her, and she hastened to reassure them. "I'm fine guys, really. Its just that... well... ummm.... Sam trailed off. She really needed some supplies. Normally she'd just ask Janet to pick up some for her, but Janet wasn't available. The guys were going out after all, but still, Sam was reluctant to ask them for something so personal. She felt her cheeks start to warm.  
  
The Colonel was watching her, and seemed to sense her discomfort. "What is it Carter, you need something while we are out?"  
  
Sam's blush deepened. She looked at her hands, her lap, and the table. She looked anywhere but at the guys. "Ijustneedsomemaxipads." She mumbled all in a rush. Facing down a ghould with a hand device pointed at her she could do. Ask her friends and teammates, let alone her CO, to pick up something so necessary, but so personal, and she was more nervous than when she'd gone on her first date.  
  
At the guys' blank stares, Sam sighed. She closed her eyes, and repeated herself, more slowly and more clearly this time. "Maxi pads. I need some maxi pads. Sir."  
  
Realization dawned on Jack and Daniel's faces, Teal'c just looked confused. Daniel blushed, and an awkward silence fell.  
  
The Colonel shifted, and coughed, breaking the silence, he answered "Uh, yeah, sure Carter. Anything." He was looking anywhere but at her.  
  
Sam thought if her cheeks got any warmer, she might spontaneously combust. "Umm, here give me the pad, I'll write down what I need." Daniel passed the list over, and Sam quickly wrote down the name of the brand she preferred and what she wanted, as the three men started to argue boisterously over who was going to stay with Sam and who was to go out for the groceries and other "necessities" Actually Daniel and Jack argued, Teal'c tried to ask what maxi pads were but the other two kept interrupting him. In other circumstances, Sam would have laughed, but her head had started to ache at the near bickering. The thought of being trapped in her house with one of the guys after her embarrassing admission was too much to bear. "Why don't you all go?" She snapped, surprising herself with her vehemence.  
  
The guys looked surprised too, as they stared at her in shock, almost taking a step back.  
  
Sam winced, and sighed, shaking her head. "Sorry guys, I'm just tired. I'll be fine, really I will be. It shouldn't take you long and I promise I'll stay right here, I won't even move."  
  
Sam thought they gave in rather easily when Jack announced that all three of them would go, but really all three men had all been married at one point in time or another, and they all knew when best to keep their distance from the women in their lives. Now was one such time.  
  
Quickly, the three men made sure Sam was comfortable, and that she had a drink and a light snack of some crackers they'd found, as well as the phone, her medicine, and crutches all in easy reach. The admonished her to stay there until they returned promising to be swift before piling off in Jack's truck. Teal'c had tried to ask what maxi pads were again before they left but the Colonel had elbowed him and Daniel had grabbed his arm dragging him out the door promising to explain later. Sam let out a relieved sigh as the door closed and she heard the truck pull off. Closing her eyes she leaned back and let herself finally relax.


	2. The Selection

Chapter 2  
  
The men of SG-1 entered the grocery store. Daniel grabbed a cart and Jack pulled out the list while Teal'c picked up a circular. They made short work of the list, and soon the cart was full. Teal'c stood looking at the cart and frowned.  
  
"Something wrong Teal'c?" Jack asked his friend and comrade.  
  
"O'Neill, as Major Carter is healing should we not include a variety of foods to promote her good health?"  
  
Jack glanced at Daniel, who shrugged, than he regarded the cart thoughtfully. They had milk, meat for burgers, bread, frozen pizza, hot dogs, Mac n' cheese, ice cream, cheese puffs and potato chips... Looked like a good variety of foods to him. He picked up the box of fruit loops. "Cereal is healthy Teal'c."  
  
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. Daniel jumped in. "Jack, I think what Teal'c means is maybe we should get some fruits and vegetables or something."  
  
Realization dawned on Jack's face. Carter would probably go for that. He quickly checked the contents of the cart. "Well the vegetable soup should cover one part of that." He spied some wrapped fruit baskets on an end display. "What about one of those?" He asked, pointing them out. Teal'c walked over and picked one up, it contained a variety of oranges, apples, banana's, grapes, and even some pears.  
  
"I believe this will be most pleasing to Major Carter." Teal'c said with conviction as he placed the fruit basket in the cart on top of the soda.  
  
Jack grinned. He thought they'd done rather well, and imagined Carter would be pleasantly surprised. She probably didn't think any of them knew how to shop. They'd even got a few good deals thanks to Teal'c grabbing that circular. Who would have thought that the Jaffa was a born bargain hunter? Especially considering that Teal'c had only been to a large grocery store a few times in his life, mostly on excursions to help Jack get supplies for one of his weekend barbeques.  
  
Looking back down at his list, and Jack's smile faded. One item left. He toyed with the idea of saying they should get back quickly and he should start getting their purchases checked out and let Daniel and Teal'c go and get the last item. He sighed. It wouldn't work, even though Daniel and Teal'c had both been married before, they hadn't exactly ever needed to run out in the middle of the night for necessities. A position Jack had been in several times for Sara.  
  
Making up his mind quickly, Jack gave his best military order voice, "Lets all of us go get Carter's thing and get out of here." He said, emphasizing the "all of us." They would all go, together. Jack felt that the "no one gets left behind" rule applied to the current circumstances.  
  
Daniel and Teal'c, who had finally been told exactly what it was that Major Carter wanted, looked like they wanted to protest, but Jack had already headed off to the "Health and Beauty" section of the store, pushing the cart. They had no choice but to follow.  
  
Jack rounded the corner into the aisle helpfully labeled "Feminine Hygiene Products" and stopped. He felt Teal'c and Daniel stop just behind him. The three men stood, and stared in awe at the wide array of products on both sides of the short aisle. Not even Jack was prepared for the staggering array of various items. The few times Sara had needed him to get such things for her (on threat of loss of limb or life) he'd just run to the corner store to grab it. There had only been a small selection of one or two brands and a few different types of each. But these... there were dozens of different things, all different shapes and sizes and colors. And there were so many pink and pastel colors. Jack found it disturbing, not to mention incredibly uncomfortable. Daniel and Teal'c looked ready to bolt, and Daniel was a brilliant shade of pink not unlike some of the packages on display.  
  
Before he lost courage, Jack scowled at the item on the list, written in Carter's distinctive scrawl, committing the details to memory before he passed the list to Daniel and Teal'c. "If we all look for what Carter wants we'll find it faster." He said as way of explanation.  
  
Soon all three men were scanning the shelves. Daniel's blush had faded, but he still looked afraid to touch anything. Teal'c was staring at the shelves in undisguised amazement. "O'Neill, I do not understand why such a staggering array of products are available for such a natural task."  
  
Jack wasn't sure how to answer that one. He looked to Daniel for help, but Daniel's look of embarrassment had melted into one of open curiosity. "I never knew there were so many different things out there for... uh... "Daniel faltered, and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "You know." He finished, blurting the rest out, and looked away, blushing again.  
  
Teal'c had ventured forward and picked up a blue plastic wrapped package. "O'Neill," He said, "Why do they have wings?" Teal'c was staring at the package as if it would take flight.  
  
"Teal'c put that down. Lets just find the thing Carter wants, and get back, I don't like leaving her alone for too long." Jack glared at the array of products. "I swear, women made all of these things just to confuse men."  
  
The men returned to scanning the shelves, Daniel or Teal'c occasionally voicing a comment over products that offered a "light feminine scent" whatever that was, or announced that they had "superior absorbency" or "leak protection for the active woman." Jack just scowled.  
  
After several minutes of searching, the three had still not found the product that Carter had written down. Jack checked the list again, verifying they were all looking for the right thing. He couldn't believe that with all the things there to choose from, the one they wanted wouldn't be there. Jack voiced his opinion to the others, who agreed.  
  
Teal'c spoke up. "I believe we should ask for assistance O'Neill." Before O'Neill could decide if that was such a good idea, Teal'c had headed off. Jack shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and glanced at Daniel, who seemed to be making an effort not to look at anything for too long, as if worried someone would enter the aisle at any moment and wonder what he found so fascinating. Fortunately, for SG-1, there didn't seem to be anyone in need of "feminine hygiene products" on this slow weekday afternoon. Heck, even the name seemed as if it intended to warn men to stay away.  
  
Jack didn't have long to speculate, Teal'c returned quickly with a young man with freckles and dark hair. His smock proclaimed him to be a store employee. The gawky kid, who looked to be in his late teens, looked rather intimidated by the large Jaffa, even though Teal'c was dressed in jeans, boots, a button down shirt and a large Stetson covering his gold tattoo. Or maybe it was the clothes that intimidated the kid. The kid's eyes widened as he took in Daniel and the glaring colonel. Jack tried to make his expression behave as showed the list to the kid and pointed out the item they were looking for.  
  
The kid swallowed nervously as he looked at the item in question, than at the three men. Teal'c had his arms crossed, Daniel was hovering nearby, and Jack's glare had returned. "Uh... " The kid said. "Yes sirs. We uh carry that, it should be right over..." The kid trailed off as his eyes came to rest on the empty space on the shelf where the product should have been. The kid gulped. "Ummm I'm sorry sirs, but I just checked for that this morning and we are all out, just sold the last one." He backed away, keeping his eye on the large black man and the older looking man who looked a lot like a battle hardened soldier. He edged past the younger man with glasses that seemed to be the least threatening of the three. Even still the man looked strong enough to beat him to a pulp, but at least he wasn't glaring like the older man was. "I n-need to uh get back to uh w-work." The kid stammered as he turned tail and all but ran from the aisle.  
  
Daniel and Teal'c turned to Jack, clearly wondering what to do next. "Perhaps we should try another establishment O'Neill." Said Teal'c.  
  
Jack quickly made up his mind, and shook his head. "No, lets just each of us pick one of these things. We'll tell Carter they were out of the one she wanted. They can't be all that different, and if we each pick out one, she can have a choice." Daniel and Teal'c nodded in agreement. Sounded like a good plan to them, and they were all eager to leave the aisle before someone saw them and get back to Sam to make sure she was still ok.  
  
As the only one who had had a wife on earth, and the most experienced with earth products for that "time of the month" Jack decided on a product with a different brand that seemed to match the same description to what Carter had written down. Daniel settled for one that was the same brand, but a slightly larger size. He thought bigger would be better in this case, than to get something too small.  
  
Teal'c seemed to be thinking along those same lines. He had a pretty fair idea as to what happened in a woman's body once a month, although the details were sketchy. His wife had never been very forthcoming with details, and during that time it was best not to cross one's wife with questions she felt were unnecessary. There were some things that were best left as being labeled mysteries, the secrets known only to women.  
  
Even though Teal'c didn't know much about what went on exactly, from what he did know he surmised that it was incredibly messy. He had spied something on the opposite side of the aisle that he felt would by much more suitable than the small absorbent pads displayed in neat packages. Teal'c picked up his selection, and showed it to the others. "I believe this product offers superior absorption and leak protection." He said proudly.  
  
Daniel and Jack stared at Teal'c. They looked at each other, and back to Teal'c. Jack's mouth worked to say something, but no words came out. How to explain to the Jaffa that Carter did not need Depends? He nudged Daniel. "You tell him.' Daniel nudged Jack back. "No, Jack, you tell him." Jack glared at Daniel, than sighed. "Fine. I'll tell him."  
  
Teal'c looked at O'Neill expectantly. He did not understand why there was a problem with his selection. "Uh, Teal'c, buddy. Carter won't want those. You see, uh... well, they are for another problem actually..." Jack trailed off. "Look, just pick something else ok?" He nudged Daniel who firmly took the package out of Teal'c's hands and placed it back on the shelf. Jack motioned to the correct items, and Teal'c nodded, still confused, but he would trust that Jack and Daniel knew what they were talking about. Teal'c decided to go with one of the products that had wings. He was still curious about them, but neither Daniel nor O'Neill seemed inclined to answer his question. Perhaps Major Carter would appreciate the wings, being in the air force. Maybe she would be able to explain why the wings were needed. He filed his question away for later.  
  
"Okay kids, we ready to go?" Jack threw his selection into the cart, and watched as Daniel and Teal'c placed theirs in as well, Daniel practically dropping his as if it burned him.  
  
Without further ado, the threesome headed to the checkout. The clerk had seemed mildly curious as to why the three men were buying so many different maxi pads, but wisely chose not to mention it. In short order, the three men had paid for their purchases and loaded the supplies into the back of Jack's truck. 


	3. The Question

Chapter 3  
  
Jack parked his truck in front of Carter's house again, and the three got out to unload it. Jack unlocked the door with a bag under his arm, and immediately went to check on Carter. True to her word, she hadn't moved from the sofa. In fact she looked like she had taken a nap while they were out, because she was blinking her eyes sleepily and her short blonde hair was sticking up in places. Carter grinned as she saw her CO, with Daniel and Teal'c appearing behind him in the doorway.  
  
"Hi guys. Back so soon?" She said. She frowned as she glanced at the clock on the VCR. "Oh, sorry, must have fallen asleep." She smiled ruefully and ran her hands through her hair, making more of it stand up instead of smoothing down like she'd intended. Sam stretched a bit and winced. She definitely had a lot of bruises.  
  
"Relax Carter, naps are ok, besides the docs want you to take it easy." Jack told her. He changed the subject; "I thought we'd have burgers for lunch. We got lots of stuff; you didn't have much in the kitchen you know. Teal'c even thought you'd like some fruit." He said as Teal'c set the wrapped basket down on the coffee table.  
  
Sam's eyes wandered over the large number of bags that the guys were bringing in. She wondered if there was room for all of it in her kitchen. She noticed Daniel carrying a plastic bag at arm's length, as if it contained something that was going to bite him. She frowned.  
  
Daniel noticed her gaze, and hastened to reassure her. "We got the, ummm, things you wanted Sam." He said motioning towards the bag. "Um, I'll just put them in the bathroom." Daniel blushed again and quickly left the room with the bag.  
  
The Colonel coughed and shifted, catching Sam's attention. "Uh, yeah Carter, about that..."  
  
Teal'c decided to help out. Tauri customs still confused him, as did the extreme embarrassment over something that was so natural and universal among women. "Major Carter, I regret to inform you that the particular product you requested was not available. However, I believe we have chosen satisfactory substitutes."  
  
Sam's eyebrows rose. Substitutes? Plural? She wondered if she should be worried. Daniel returned to the room and Sam smiled at her guys. Oh well, better go take care of business. Sam quickly excused herself on the excuse of wanting to change clothes and freshen up a bit, and the men quickly headed to the kitchen to put things away and start lunch, telling her to call if she needed anything. They made sure she was moving around OK on her crutches before leaving her alone, she was, even if she was a little slow and stiff.  
  
The three men quickly divided up the chores and soon had everything crammed away where it belonged and were putting together the meal when they heard what was obviously a howl of laughter from the bathroom. Teal'c looked up an eyebrow raised; Daniel blushed, and Jack just muttered "women" and decided to ignore the outburst, concentrating on making hamburger patties.  
  
Lunch was ready before long, and by unspoken agreement the team decided to eat in the living room, so Carter would be able to stretch her leg out and keep it propped up on the sofa. They entered the room with plates of food as Sam returned from the bathroom, looking more relaxed having washed up and combed her errant hair, and changed into a baggy t-shirt and soft oversized sweatpants that fit over her cast. She maneuvered herself to the couch grinning as she let the guys fuss over her, grabbing pillows to prop her leg and covering her with a blanket again, before handing her a plate of food, which she accepted with thanks. She was actually pretty hungry.  
  
Sam paused as Teal'c addressed her. "Major Carter, I trust that you found our selections to your satisfaction?" Sam nearly choked. She regarded her hamburger closely looking down at her plate to hide her warming cheeks. "Um, yes Teal'c, more than satisfactory. Thank you." Sam had to hide her amusement at the pleased looks the three men shared. She wished Janet were here, to share the joke, she couldn't believe they'd bought her three packs of pads. Big packages too, the large multi pack ones that gave a quantity discount. One small one would have been more than enough. Not that she'd ever tell them that. Sam hid the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.  
  
Teal'c wasn't finished asking questions yet however. His next question floored her, as she dropped her burger onto the plate and stared at Teal'c, mouth open and eyes wide with surprise. "Major Carter." He had said. "I was wondering why do they have wings?" 


End file.
